Death of A Friendship

Lately I have been doing my best to avoid airing my issues on the internet, But I am feeling so many emotions right now and well it's MY BLOG and I have to get this off of my chest.
 The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions and huge disappointment. I am not putting names in here because I am writing this to vent get it off of my chest not to be mean or expose the person. So please don't ask who.

I was so looking for my bestie and her husband coming to visit for commissioning week. This has been in the works for months. I have missed her so much. Miss our days of paling around Jacksonville doing our thing. During the past few months we had made plans around Graduation and a wedding they were staying for. Making sure that we would get equal amount of time in.

So I cleared my schedule for the week and spent lots of time preparing for their visit and the plans we had made. Finally it's the weekend they are to arrive and my husband drops a bomb on it. According to rules of his job they cannot stay at our house. he could get fired from his job but yet I pleaded with him that we could not yank my offer 2 days before they arrive. We needed to figure something out. (*BACKSTORY- They were coming up for graduation and a wedding. I knew they couldn't afford a hotel so I offered up my guest room, also a way to see them. Did not accept at 1st but called sometime later to ASK if the offer was still good and I said YES!)  The day came they arrived and hubby avoided us so as to not get caught since we were doing them a favor. Hubby avoided us the last few days he was home. I thought it was kinda worth it since she was my friend and I was so happy to be able to help her out and see her. I was informed they had to check with their friends and would let me know the plans for the week.
I secured a babysitter ($70) and ticket for graduation because SHE wanted me to go. I didn't have to go. But she's my friend so I made the effort and went. I was pretty much ignored except when I was paying for the beverages. I had sat down next to her and she told me to move so her hubby could sit next to her.(I spent the ceremony between her hubby and some complete stranger. I went for HER) I didn't think much of it until later. Moving on they go to after party and go out on their own and do not arrive back at house until 12:37 AM. My baby and I were asleep. Again no biggie. So Wednesday morning arrives and I am blocked in my driveway waiting on them to get up. So I am waiting, waiting, waiting and freaking waiting. FINALLY THEY EMERGE! Was looking forward to spending some time with them showing them around my new city. I did hint a few times that I was going to go somewhere to run an errand and still I was blocked in my driveway. But whatever right? I was about to go hang with my buddy.  So they come out ready to go and inform me that they were going off ALONE and let it be known that I was not invited. When I asked about dinner (in beforehand plans she had said if I bought groceries we would cook at my house every night so I did. but as of this time they had eaten somewhere else every night. So glad I dropped $200 at the store on food I DIDN'T NEED) She said they would be eating in the city. I was like WTF in my head. I smiled and kept on being the gracious hostess who was being blown off every day. She then mentioned they would be going back into the city on Friday and I quickly added that I would love to join them and show them around. Her response was "I have to check with Ashley and make sure she doesn't need me." Are you F'ing kidding me!!!!!!!! She might as well have slapped or spit in my face. Now to be fair when they first told me they were going in the city and I wasn't invited my response was You're F'ing stupid for going in the city at this time of day. I was going to apologize later but I cannot apologize to someone who is not around. Her hubby had made the comment of well you will have her tomorrow night while I'm at the bachelor party. Without missing a beat I returned with Yay fun for me. night plans while my kid is sleeping. cannot go anywhere whoo hoo. My tone was dripping with sarcasm by the way. Again another late night and I was prepping for bed when they returned. I had taken my daughter out for dinner, ice cream and duck feeding since Our guests did not want to spend time with us.
So the day of Hell came. I awoke at 6:30 to hear Anna crying. I was praying she would go back to sleep. She did drift off. I just got that bad Mom feeling so I went to check on her. She was covered in puke (this had also happened Tuesday Morning) So I cleaned her up and immediately she got sick out the bum bum this time. Called the Dr. and they told me to take her to the ER. She had a temp of 102, puking and pooping like crazy. I alerted my guests my apologies but I had to rush baby to ER and for them to please let themselves out using the side door. (the night before feeling kinda used I had put on FB that I was debating about departing for VB the next day to take kid to see Daddy we missed him and our guests was ignoring us. No point in sticking around.) So while I am prepping to get out the door they are trying to make plans for us the next day in DC. Was being polite and accepted but again later  after nerves calmed WTF. I'm trying to get out the door not knowing whats wrong and NOW you want to make plans with me? Seriously? Guess they saw my FB. Turns out it was a horrid tummy bug and I got to take her home. So relieved. Tonight was my girl night with my bestie. Was looking forward to it but I was already exhausted.
She lets me know she wants me to order pizza for dinner. I am not a huge fan of pizza but had mentioned I might order one. MIGHT. She kept insisting on the pizza but never once offered up any money. I am NOT saying she wanted me to pay for it, just stating that she never offered any money. She mentioned that it would be 7:30 at the earliest that she would arrive. I informed that that does not work for me. Toddler eats at 6 and I eat dinner with her. She eats better if I eat with her, and if I don't eat with her then I end up skipping dinner. I later texted her and told her to eat while she was out being that after cleaning puke and poop all day I had NO appetite. She then texted me and told me it was going to be later. LATER? I am exhausted and have a sick kid. At that point I was ready for bed.
So I told her to don't worry about it I was going to bed. I was tired of being 2nd choice. Thru a series of texts I politely told her how all week I had been her second choice and it hurt my feelings. She said she was sorry and that it wasn't intentional. I knew it wasn't She has always been a total sweetheart to me. I just said It's rude and it hurt my feelings. But from her feedback all she took away from it was I was mad because she didn't sit next to me at graduation and that she would have if I had asked. Remember I was told to move, but whatever. I told her it is what it is and what's done is done. (I say that a lot especially when trying to move on) Please don't block me in just in case I need to leave I have my mommy duties to do. I was ready to put baby to bed and go clean the puke/poop smell off of me and hit the hay myself.  Shortly thereafter I am in the middle of cleaning up NASTY DEATH poop and I hear a knock on the door, then the doorbell like someone really wanted in. (Didn't know ti was them, she had said she would be later) I could not get up and leave baby covered in poop. As soon as I could I ran down the hall saw it was them and opened the door and ran back to baby to finish the clean up and get her into bed.
When I had went to the door I saw her husbands face and he had the I'm ready to fight face on. Had no idea that I was the person he wanted to fight. They were pacing in the living room, then went to guest room and you could feel the tension pouring out of them. I was going to go out there, see what was up but my kid needed me and cried for me every time I put her down. After seeing what had just come out of her I knew she needed me and they would have to wait. They're parents I knew they would understand. My dishwasher was running so i could not hear everything they were saying, but I started hearing bits and pieces of snide remarks against me. I'm thinking WTH did I do other than be polite and point out that they were being rude to me. You don't go to someones house for a week and not spend anytime with them it's rude. I hear a snippet of something of me putting something on the internet about her and that I was f'ing lucky she didnt come down the hall. I tried to put baby down to go handle it right then and there and once again she cried so badly for me. So I held her and started rocking her to sleep so I could go deal with them. While rocking she starts stomping up and down the hall running her mouth. I was so appalled. I had never seen her behave so poorly. I know she was raised better than that. So they both go in their room and I hear him call me a chicken. Seriously? I am rocking my sick baby, being a good mother? Really dude? Next thing I know they packed their crap and left all while I am still rocking my sick child. Slamming the door on the way out was SO classy by the way. Woke my kid up when she needed her rest.CLASS ACT PEOPLE CLASS ACT!

I was so shocked, appalled by their behaviour. I sent her a text the next morning giving everyone a chance to calm down. I just said hey Don't know what your problem was but do not appreciate you showing your butt in my house, running your mouth while I am caring for my sick child. Also mentioned that FYI it's rude to make plans with someone and stay with them for a week and blow them off everyday. i would never do that to them.

A few days later and I STILL don't know what happened. I do know that via FB her hubby is portraying me to be the villain. It is what is is and if that's what he needs to sleep at night whatever. I have not heard from her and do not expect to.  I do not know if we will be friends. They owe me and my family a HUGE apology for their rudeness. It's really sad because we were good friends. But I guess I am not needed anymore and she has found someone else to do so many things for her. That's fine, such is life and I wish her well. I do not wish ill fate upon them.

I guess you could say this is what happens when you assume things: I assumed she would keep her word and plans with me, She assumed I did something, made an ass out of herself in my home, and severely damaged a really good friendship.
 Again I did not write this to be mean, spiteful. I just needed to vent. I have been feeling so many things. I'm sad because I pretty much lost a really good friend and I don't even know why. I have done so much for her over the years and NEVER asked or expected anything in return and I got treated like crap in the end and it sucks and it hurts. I'm pissed that they showed their butt in my home with my daughter here. SO NOT COOL.

Will we ever be friends I don't know she owes me a HUGE apology and even then I don't think I could be that close again after the broadway musical that played out.

It is what it is..what's done is done

My Daughter I Am Here For You!

This morning I read a blog post by April Perry that moved me so much it brought me to tears. I have taken the time today to think about what she was really trying to get across to people. She had so many valid points. The title of it is: "YOUR CHILDREN WANT YOU!" It talks about how in the day and age of Pinterest, Mommy blogs, parenting sites, magazines, etc all by these UBER Moms that they make us normal moms feel inadequate if we cannot manage to make those bakery images recipes, or organize the house in minutes. It really does make you feel like crap. Like you are a horrible Mom. Personally I do not have time to make bakery perfect concoctions. I have a toddler who is hell on wheels. Do those people have Nannies while they are being all artsy fartsy? I sure as hell don't.

She goes on to talk about Her Mom who is disappearing everyday due to her older age (70). This part will have you bawling I promise. She also talks about her children who helped her realize that they want her and could care less if she is the Diva Mom from Pinterest.

Here is the link so that you may read it yourself  http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/

I have taken the time to truly reflect on this. Lately I too, have had the feelings of being a bad Mommy for one reason or another. I too realized that I am a great Mommy. My daughter smiling and giggling at me this morning made me realize that. When I go into her room every morning I get the biggest smiles and hugs. She gets so excited when I play games with her or we read books together. She goes bananas when both my husband and I have playtime with her. That's what my daughter wants from me. My Love and Attention. Yesterday she came running down the hallway and dove into my arms. it never occurred to her that I might not catch her. She trusts me that much. it really overwhelmed me. Of course I caught her. :)

I Promise you my daughter that I will always be here for you in the now moments. I will not miss moments with you focusing on stuff that is trivial and does not matter. Yes I always want things to be near perfect, that is my OCD, but I promise to not let that make me miss out on the now moments.

We will laugh, play, talk, giggle, and explore this journey of life together. This I promise you

Love always and forever

MOM